April 2, 2003 – With the U.S.-Iraq war now entering its third week, families on St. John are waiting for word about their sons and daughters in uniform. All the families say they are proud of their children — representing every branch of the armed services — and are looking for different ways to fill the hours until they hear from them again.
The trees and decorative pilings outside Marina Market on Route 104 have been wrapped in yellow ribbon by store manager Jay Castonguay, whose son, Edward, 28, is a medical corpsman in the U.S. Navy, attached to a group of Marines. After six years in the service, a call to duty led Edward Castonguay to his first tour abroad.
Jay Castonguay said, "He called me. He said, 'Mom, I'm getting on a plane. I'm leaving.'" That was last Tuesday.
To fight off feelings of helplessness, she is tying yellow ribbons to trees, to decorative pilings at the door, on a nearby utility pole, on the avocado tree in back of the store, and even on a few trees on her Fish Bay property.
There is a laminated photo of Edward on her desk. In it he is chest deep in a Massachusetts swimming pool, holding his 2-year-old daughter. She said she put it there "so I can see him every day."
But as word of fierce fighting came over television and radio, the corpsman's mother said she needed more, an understanding person to talk to, someone who also had a child in the war.
"You're kind of isolated because everybody says they understand, but unless you have a husband, a son or some family member over there, you don't understand," Castonguay said.
A friend mentioned the school nurse at Julius E. Sprauve School, Fran Talbot, whose 35-year-old son Donovan Salerno is a Marine intelligence officer. Before the two mothers met, Talbot said she found herself with similar anxieties.
"It's really hard to describe it," Talbot said. "You kind of go into cruise control. It's kind of a 'gloom and doom' feeling, knowing your child is in this part of the world."
Because of the nature of their children's missions — one an emergency medical technician, the other delving in secret strategies — both mothers knew that once their children approached the battlefield, it would be a long time before they would hear from them again.
Salerno spent part of his growing-up years on St. John. His mother recalled the long-haired boy with the headband and two mischievous friends romping through Cruz Bay with no intended purpose. That image in her mind has now been replaced with one of a strapping, clean-cut Marine with a strong sense of duty and mission.
The two St. John mothers met and spoke about the things they could do to overcome uncertainty and feelings of helplessness. They decided to work together to send letters and packages, which Talbot says can be very expensive. A few days before the war broke out, she shipped a box of cookies, candies, personal wipes and wintergreen alcohol. The postage came to $16, she said.
Because the military is restricting the delivery of mail to soldiers in the field the school nurse said she and her new-found partner are finding ways to include gifts and well wishes from others living on St. John, particularly the children at Sprauve School. A letter-writing project is under way with students encouraged to write to "Donovan and the crew" so that other soldiers in his unit can share the messages.
Getting the students involved also has provided an opportunity for Talbot and other adults to talk to some St. John children about the war and try to answer questions they have. It also gives the Marine's mother a chance to talk about her son and how much he has in common with the students, since he also attended Sprauve School. The young writers are encouraged to introduce themselves on paper, tell the Marines what their lives are like, and offer them words of encouragement.
Also waiting on St. John is a father with a smile ready for the dozens of children piling into the local recreation center where he works. Orville "Chopper" Brown has two daughters in the military. Yasmine, 24, collects flight data for the Air Force, and she is now stationed in Turkey. On Sunday, Brown took a second daughter, 20-year-old Nicole, to make her connections for a trip leading to Army basic training in Missouri.
"I'm very proud," he said of his daughters, with whom he maintains close contact. As Yasmine made her way to the Middle East, Brown said, "One time I asked her, 'What are you doing over there?' She said, 'I'm protecting your freedom, Daddy.'"
And as Brown said his goodbyes to Nicole over the weekend, the district director for Housing Parks and Recreation on St. John offered some advice: "Regardless of what happens, I told her, always trust God, and he will work it out."
Just down the hill from the rec center, in the heart of Cruz Bay, another St. John father, Stephen Abraham, says it's been weeks since he spoke to his son, 24-year-old Alvin, a serviceman in the Coast Guard. "I haven't been in touch with him too much," Abraham said of his son. "He was in the Coast Guard and they started training, and then he had to go with them."
Abraham, operator of Cool Breeze Car Rental, said he is still somewhat mystified as to how a part-time weekend assignment with the Coast Guard could wind up sending his son toward parts unknown. He said Alvin began his military service while living in Miami, where he had moved from his native St. Lucia to study criminology.
Like some other parents, Abraham said the waiting is the worst part of the war. "It's crazy," he said. "I even stopped watching the television. It's a heart-breaking situation."
But he said his son's situation has given new meaning to his own naturalization as a U.S. citizen. "Somebody's got to do it, and I guess that's part of being an American. That's what we hold up our hand and swear to," he said.
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