Parents are the solution to much of what ails society today, a roomful of more than 200 people were told Wednesday at the Family Month Conference at the Divi Carina Bay Resort.
The annual conference, sponsored by the Department of Human Services and its Division of Family Assistance, is a daylong event focused on building healthy families through community involvement.
A companion event was held Tuesday at the Marriott Frenchman’s Reef on St. Thomas. The conference is part of the U.S. Virgin Islands’ observance of Family Month.
Strong families make strong children who grow into strong adults, but that’s not all, said the Rev. Reginald Perry, the conference’s keynote speaker. Strong families also make strong communities.
"Children who are happy at home, they’ll be happy in the community," Perry said. "If they’re happy in the community, it rubs off," resulting in lower crime statistics.
But strong families don’t just happen, he said. They have to be built, and that’s the job of the parents.
Perry said it’s not his job to be his children’s friend. He loves them too much for that. In his own house, there is only one TV, and that’s out where everyone can see it and he can monitor what’s being watched. There’s only one computer with an Internet connection, and that’s in the same room as the television.
"The reason I don’t have Internet in all the rooms is because I can’t watch all the rooms," he said.
He said he has seen young girls sitting next to each other sending text messages back and forth between them instead of talking. Text messages allow you to say what you want without having to deal with the other person’s reaction, and that’s not communication.
"Texting can’t take the place of talking," said Perry, the pastor of Victorious Believers Ministries.
Perry challenged the audience to make a point of having dinner together as a family at least three times a week between now and the end of the year. Turn the TV off, put aside the personal music players, and talk with your children, he advised audience members. He added that the conversation didn’t have to be profound. Just talk about the day and show family members you love them by setting reasonable rules and expectations—and then sticking to them.
"Most children like rules," he said. "They like structure and consistency and discipline. They do! They like it!"
While having a month dedicated to the family is a good start, he said that’s all it is – a start.
"Let’s extend it to more than a month. Let’s extend it to next year, and the next year and the next year."
Perry’s comments were echoed by master of ceremonies George Franklin, who said "Everything begins and ends at home."
"We have some of the greatest children on Earth here on the Virgin Islands, and our children are only as good as we raise them to be."
Gov. John de Jongh Jr. also took part n the program, asking parents to bring their passion and dedication to raising their children. The government can provide programs and facilities, ballparks and libraries and playgrounds, he said, but parents have to supply the passion.
The governor also honored V.I. Family Month Founder Lillian Sutherland “for having the foresight to organize this important observance.”
During the daylong conference, participants were able to take part in a variety of workshops on such topics as the importance of male involvement in a child’s life, the culture of gang violence, the effects of domestic violence on children, and the importance of proper nutrition on early child development.
