The 50 or so Fathers' Night Out meetings sponsored by the Community Foundation of the Virgin Islands mainly on St. Thomas last week had their roots on St. John, where a group of 17 dads has been quietly having dialogues on the meaning of fatherhood for a couple of years.
According to Richard Brown, a Commulnity Foundation volunteer and the organizer of the St. John group, it started as a gathering "of men who took part in a focus group on fatherhood" organized by the foundation.
Brown was reluctant to say too much about those involved, as theirs is a relationship based on mutual trust. He said the men get together once a month at the Cruz Bay Legislature to share concerns about their children.
"Sometimes we have a lot to talk about. Sometimes we don't talk about anything," he said. "Sometimes we see videos about fatherhood and parenting. I learn so much from them."
He said whether the fathers live at home with their families or visit their children through custody arrangements, they all share a wish to do more for their kids than their fathers did for them. At the same time they worry if the things they do are enough.
Take school homework, for example. According to Brown, helping kids with their homework is something all the fathers in the group would like to do, but how well they are able to do it depends on how well they themselves did in school.
Written reports on the June 14 Fathers' Night Out gatherings are being assessed by the foundation, and summaries will be provided as feedback to all of the group hosts. Brown said he hopes the large number of meetings will generate new and renewed interest on the part of fathers in having a continuing dialogue about their children.
